Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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