I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
