I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
