I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
