In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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