We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
