Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
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