whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
