please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
