And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
