some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
