That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
