Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
