White coat. Heels.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Acid is not a monday night drug
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
