i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
