Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I can't put those talents on a resume
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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