We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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