I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
