It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
