we're blogging at a bar
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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