Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
