yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
