best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
It's shark week go big or go home
Randomize