I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize