your room smells of hookers.
And success
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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