I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
you never un-have a 4some
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
