We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
