their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Fuck appropriateness.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
