she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
