Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
