Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
