She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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