Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
