I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
