I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
