drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
