Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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