So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
