rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
