I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
