I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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