we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
We had to coat check the pizza.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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