Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
cat food counts as protein by the way
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize