I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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