I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
