He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
