Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
