I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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