Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Randomize
