So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
