I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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