there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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