I must be too annoying 4 u.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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