Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
