her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize