we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
