Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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