Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Randomize
