The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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