Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
