I hate your face
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize