im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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