Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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