i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
i just google imaged poop.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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