Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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