Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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