Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Non-Jews are for practice
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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