it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
So much rum. So many feels.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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