i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
