you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
