sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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