I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
