I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
