What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
