Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
