I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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